Comey Implies That Trump Is Sexually Attracted To Him In Pathetic Meltdown

President Trump crushed James Comey in a tweet for his new book ‘A Higher Loyalty.’ “Slippery James Comey, the worst FBI Director in history, was not fired because of the phony Russia investigation where, by the way, there was NO COLLUSION (except by the Dems)!” tweeted President Trump.

Comey had just finished writing an entire book about Trump, making several insults to his appearance. Comey insulted Trump’s ‘orange skin’ and his ‘small hands’ his height, his hair, and other cliché things. President Trump responded to the book with a tweet. According to James Comey, Trump’s tweet insulting him is a sign that Trump must see him like an ex-boyfriend he can’t get over.

“He’s tweeted at me probably 50 times. I’ve been gone for a year, I’m like the breakup he can’t get over. He wakes up in the morning … I’m out there living my best life, he wakes up in the morning and tweets at me,” said Comey in an interview with Stephen Colbert. Ignoring the fact that he literally was just promoting a book insulting Trump.

Comey went on to explain that Colbert was shocked that Trump actually fired him. “I actually was quite surprised, because I thought, ‘I’m leading the Russia investigation.’ Even though our relationship was becoming strained, there’s no way I’m going to get fired or whacked,” said Colbert.

“Why? Why wouldn’t you get fired?” asked Colbert. “Because that would be a crazy thing to do. Why would you fire the FBI director who is leading the Russia investigation?” responded Comey.